Fresh from giving young men advice on masturbation – Zoo and Nuts are out lads, best to concentrate on the products of the imagination, or on the fashion ads in the Sundays like the old days – the Tory party have decided that the best way to defeat a hated, nannying government that has invaded every aspect of our lives, from our smoking and drinking habits to our right to refuse entry to our home, from our right to own guns to our right to have a human being decide whether our driving is dangerous, from our right to use our own money to buy life-saving drugs to our right to fill our bins how we want, is to hector us about being fat.
Using their cunning ‘nudge’ tactic – no, not softly nudging fat people down elevator shafts – the Tory party is going to achieve a reduction in the numbers of the herds of the obese that graze on every high street in the cooler temperatures of the evenings.
Scorn – as I hope is clear – was my first reaction. Then, however, I noticed something more subtle. If the Tories wish to create a society where fat people are encouraged to be thin by the example of their neighbours – then are they really not proposing a return to the pre-PC days when arrogant, testosterone-addled white men like myself didn’t have to spit out euphemisms for any word that might offend the proverbial high-school weakling? Probably not, but if we pretend so, it will become so. Such is the teaching of the high priests of nudge.
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